


if he was watching

by occultisaperta



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adorable, Corpsekunno, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Corpse Husband (Video Blogging RPF), Video Chat, how a relationship starts, sad sykkuno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28779459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultisaperta/pseuds/occultisaperta
Summary: I somehow just saw the video where Sykkuno was sad on stream and my brain wanted to write what would happen if Corpse had been watching.
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 748





	if he was watching

**Author's Note:**

> hey, don't put this on them. i might ship it, but it's my own personal little thing. mine and anyone who is reading this. point being don't take it to them. if they ever say they don't want things like this up, i will take it down. 
> 
> seriously though, during the pandemic these boys have been giving me life. you'll probably see a lot more fics from me for them. 
> 
> \--
> 
> unbeta read, written in one sitting. i just wanted cute fluff and to spill off of my head canon that syk has definitely seen corpse's face. // I did post the wrong version though >_> so for those of you who got first and third pov... oops. better now.

It actually took everything that I had not to jump into the call. It took everything that I had in me not to message Sykkuno directly during his stream.

It took everything that I had in me not to get into my car and _drive. I_ knew where Sykkuno lived because I'd mailed him a few things before and I didn't want it to get lost in the P.O. Box. 

Something about the way that his voice, usually so warm and full of joy, became so _small_ when he spoke, "I just wanted to make everyone laugh", made something inside of me _break._

There was a moment -- an irrational moment -- where I wanted to yell at everyone there. But just as soon as it came, it passed, because I k _new_ that it wasn't their fault. There was clearly something wrong beforehand, and they just didn't notice.

The _only thing_ that kept me from doing _something_ that I probably would have regretted was the fact that Ludwig seemed to instantly jump on taking care of him. It was chat -- I knew that it was chat that let him know, but honestly... I couldn't see how _everyone_ didn't realize that something was wrong.

The soft _I'm sorry_ was like a reverberation of glass beating through my head and cutting at my nerves. 

I wanted...

I wanted...

I should have streamed with them that night. 

I should have done something -- been there.

Something.

As it was, I picked up my phone with fingers that were shaking (in anger, in emotion? in anxiety?) and pulled up his number. I didn't want to crowd him if he needed space. I understood needing space.

I didn't want to make it worse.

But I couldn't _not_ do something.

> _U always make me smile._

I sent it before I realized what I was doing, and I felt like an idiot right after. If I could have stretched my fingers through the phone and plucked the words back off of the screen, I probably would have.

But it was sent -- sent... and delivered.

And read.

And then there was nothing.

I let out a low groan and threw my phone across my room, watched it bounce on my bed. I should have asked him how he was, but that seemed like a stupid question. I could _tell_ how he was. 

I should have just left him alone... but that didn't feel right either.

And he _did_ always make me smile. I'd let out a soft laugh while he was memeing with the group before it had turned into what it had. He was always funny to me -- always cute and innocent and _trying_ to make people happy. Even when he was miserable, and I could tell that he had been the entire time.

And when he'd switched off his camera to hide what I knew were tears... I...

My phone buzzed.

I was half torn between the motion of scrambling to it and hiding from it, and I wasn't sure which one I wanted to do... and in the end, I did an awkward half flail and managed to grab it while keeping the screen faced away from me. It only took me a second to breathe, to talk myself into flipping it over.

It only took another second for my heart to thud painfully in my chest.

> _Sy: :) Thanks._

That was it. 

I let out another low groan and shoved my phone into my hoodie and started pacing around my empty apartment. If I'd been the kind of person who _liked_ outside, I might have gone for a walk. As it was, I felt like a caged thing, because I knew that there was still a small part of me that just wanted to _drive_ to him. I wanted to hug him.

I'd never heard him cry before. I never wanted to see it again.

And...

My phone buzzed again -- it wasn't just a small blip of a message though.

It buzzed.

And buzzed.

And then buzzed.

My brows knit together and I pulled it out.

**Facetime request.**

**Sy.**

My eyes widened and I flicked the screen on without thinking.

"Hey," his voice was so small, and I kept the screen angled downward so that he could see my chest, the chain swinging low and bright against the dark hoodie. "I... uh.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... my finger... it... uh..."

"Sykunno," my voice was soft when I spoke to him, pure gravel. I took a few steps back and sat down at my desk, propped my phone up so that I could see his face, even though he couldn't see mine. He wasn't in his streaming room -- he was curled up in his bed. I could see the covers wrapped around him. I could see the way that his lower lip gave the smallest little quiver when he looked at me. "It's okay. I like talking to you."

Affirmation -- positive affirmation and warmth. It was the only thing that I could think to do. I didn't want to ask him how he was; I could see how he was. I didn't want to tell him that I was sorry, even though I was sorry that I hadn't been there. I couldn't even tell him that I'd get even for him, because I knew that he was the kind of person who wouldn't be mad at his friends, especially when they were just doing what they always did. 

"I'm sorry." The words came out from his chest softly again after a few moments, and a small little pained sound managed to escape him. His hand came up, covering his mouth, and I wanted to reach through the screen and pull it away. "I'm sorry, Corpse. I didn't mean to bother you, I just--"

"Sykkuno!" I said his name a little sharper than the last time, enough to draw his attention to me. One hand raised and I toyed with the chain at my throat, angled the camera up slightly... he was obviously alone. But... "Are you by yourself?"

"Yeah... yeah... I.. in my room. Doors locked. No one but me and my thoughts... and you." He sounded just a little grateful for the last bit.

It was enough. I angled the phone up a bit more... just so he could see my mouth. His eyes widened slightly, his breath came in a small little gasp that left him forgetting to cover his trembling mouth. The tears that he'd clearly been holding back slipped down his cheek and I don't think he even noticed.

I did the only thing that I could think to do. I smiled softly at him. Soft, a bare twitch of my lips. My own anxiety was through the roof -- but there was a part of me that knew that this was okay. Sykkuno was okay.

Sykkuno was always going to be okay.

"You always make me smile, Sykkuno." I said the words softer this time, and I could see when they struck through him. I could see that they actually meant something to him.

His lips twitched, still trembling. The tears came faster... and I wondered for a minute how much of an idiot I was. But that twitch of his mouth was the softest, sweetest smile.

"I... you... you too, Corpse. I mean, you... you always make me smile. And you messaged me, and I called you before I thought about it because all that I could think of was the fact that IwantedtohearyourvoiceandmaybeitwouldmakemefeelbetterandI--"

He took a deep, shaking breath, and I smiled again. Broader this time. Genuine; the only kind of smile I had when I was talking to him.

"It's okay. I can talk for as long as you want." 

He paused, hesitated. Dropped his gaze again. "That's a big promise."

"Why's that?"

"It might be longer than you want."

"I don't think so."

A small beat. "What if I said forever?"

And he laughed then -- brought his hand to his mouth to cover his blush and his smile. A part of me thought that he was falling back on his usual behavior... but we weren't on stream, and there was no one that he was playing this up for. It was just us. 

And even if he was just playing, it was obviously making him feel better, so. 

I smiled again, enough to flash teeth, and gave a low, rumbling laugh. "Not long enough."

He settled back again, relaxing against the pillows fanning around him. For one wildly inappropriate moment, I had an image of Sykkuno laid out in his bed and looking up at me with those wide, innocent, tear reddened eyes -- I shook my head quickly. That wasn't the kind of thought that I needed to have right now. Instead, I leaned back in my chair and ran my fingers through too-long curling hair. 

"Thanks... Corpse... I..."

He cut himself off though and adjusted his phone.

"Hm?"

"You just seem like a person who would keep promises."

Forever -- that was a promise.

And I would keep it, if he wanted me to.

"Of course I do, Sykkuno. I-I..." I was stuttering around him. I took a slow, shaking breath and leaned the phone up just a bit more, so he could see the line of my jaw, the bottom of my nose. His eyes widened slightly, pupils blowing to take in the sight of me. 

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to just to make me feel better, Corpse. I-I... just talking is nice, and I--"

I did it without thinking. I pulled the phone up the rest of the way so that he could see my full face. His eyes widened, his breath caught for just a moment.

And for one terrible moment, I imagined him seeing me the way that _I saw me._ But then he smiled again, warm and soft, and his hands came to wipe at his cheeks, brush his hair from his eyes. "Wow, Corpse. Y-you're really handsome." 

My heart gave a thundering beat. A quick jolt of shock. 

Handsome.

Sykkuno -- tear-streaked, soft-eyed Sykkuno was calling me handsome. 

That was not the reaction that I would expect from most people... but then again... it was Sykkuno, and he'd never done anything less than _everything_. 

"I trust you."

It was the best thing that I could think to say. It was the truth. 

And it meant more than anything I could have done because the motion itself was proof that it was true.

It was a startling shock to realize that I wanted him to see me -- that I'd wanted him to see me for a while now. It was even more of a startling shock when he smiled softly and then pulled his phone a bit closer to his face and spoke to me in that serotonin inducing tone. 

"I trust you, too, Corpse." His face was open and so handsome and I realized why after only a moment. He was smiling, and his hand wasn't covering his mouth. His lips were still trembling, and he looked so _vulnerable._

But he was smiling. For me.

And I'd never seen anything more perfect in my life. 


End file.
